Frank Addington, Jr
Texas is known as a friendly state. In our early days when folks lived out on ranches, town was where people came to get supplies, do a little dancing and visit neighbors at a dance hall on Saturday night and attend Church on Sunday. Technology and screens have changed our lives so much.
In a day of screens, skipping the store to have everything from dinner, groceries, and about anything else delivered to your door, it’s getting easier to skip human connection and communication. When people do venture into public often they are glued to a screen. While it’s a convenience, it can never take the place of human interaction.
Everyone now wants instant gratification. They push a few buttons on a phone and things appear. It’s so easy nowadays to get lost in this technology. They even have sites online now to date, and that’s an entire conversation. I’ve even seen young people out on a date sitting across from each other, each looking at their screen and maybe texting friends but not talking to each other.
A text or email is quick. But trust me your mom would much prefer a phone call. She wants to hear your voice. In my last column I wrote about sending handwritten notes. I guess in this column I’m encouraging you to stop and smell the roses. You can google roses, read about them, watch videos about them but it won’t take the place of actually smelling the roses.
Life is so brief in the big scheme of things. We are all only here for a little while. Let’s make the most of it and take it all in.
I love to go to HEB. It’s not so much about getting groceries as seeing neighbors, the staff and people from the community. The folks at my local HEB have become friends. We visit and chat for a few minutes. We catch up. Share jokes or talk about the news of the day. The post office, the dry cleaners, and others stops around town allow the ability to say HOWDY to your neighbors. We are social in nature and in my opinion life is better by those you meet along the way.
I do archery exhibitions and sell ranches for a living. The shows have allowed me to meet folks from all walks of life, from singers, entertainers, movie stars and even a President. The ranch real estate career has also allowed me to meet interesting folks. I simply love people. A stranger is simply a friend you haven’t met yet.
As a Christian, I also feel that it’s my duty to try and reflect His light in my interactions with people. Maybe the sales clerk has had a rough day. Maybe things at home are tough. You don’t know what the struggle or battle they may be fighting. A kind word and smile can lift them up. I once heard it said that Jesus went about life doing good. So as a follower, if a simple Howdy or smile can lift someone up it’s the least I can do.
As a cigar smoker, I’m convinced the appeal is that we sat around a campfire talking in our early days. A cigar requires at least an hour of time, set aside to sit back and enjoy the time and conversation. Hunting stories, football, politics you name it but it’s that human interaction that offers relaxation and enjoyment. It’s very relaxing and I don’t smoke cigars often but when I do I enjoy the company and discussions that follow. Democrats and Republicans may get along better if they’d simply sit down and over cigars discuss and debate the topics of the day and part as friends.
Unfortunately keyboard warriors find it easy to say mean spirited things that they’d likely never say in person on social media. Then friends get blocked, unfriended etc all over unkind words that should have never been said. Social media can be fun but it can also allow folks to forget we are all human, we all have flaws. Sometimes it can also make others jealous. Maybe the lifestyle of a person may seem glamorous and make us feel our own life is boring. Sometimes that’s human nature.
As a gentleman who aspires to be a good man, take the lead. Have family meals at the table and don’t allow gadgets, talk with each other. Shop local, visit with folks and say a kind word to those you meet. Talk with your children about not being a part of mean spirited conversations about others on social media apps or in text chains. Teach them to be kind and courteous, and walk away from anything they feel is evil or mean spirited.
As the Christmas season is upon us, take the time away from your phone and gadgets long enough to speak to others. Shop local mom and pop retail shops , not only to support them but to interact with neighbors. These folks live in your neighborhood and it’s nice to do business with people you know. Speak to strangers and offer a kind word when you can. Say Merry Christmas to the clerk at HEB and mean it. Not only will it make their day, but the smile and kind words you get back can lift you as well.
More from the BetterMENt column: Howdy is the spoken version of the same gesture explored in The Art of the Note. For a deeper look at what it means to be a neighbor in Kendall County, read Deep Roots Create Strong Trees.
