Mothers have a way of telling us exactly what we need to hear, even when it is not what we want to hear.
For my mother, Scottie Florene Leech, this was her specialty.
Scottie could cut through distractions, set the game plan, and make sure we didn’t waste time worrying about the wrong things. Sometimes her lessons came in quick, sharp reminders—truths wrapped in a few well-chosen words.
We call these lessons, The Gospel According to Scottie.
Lesson 1: Play the Game with What You’ve Got
It was 1982, and Jackie and JoAnn Cargill were hosting a party for Carla and I. We were asked to invite some friends, and I did – about two handfuls of them. Well, as the party got going, I started to notice something – about half of the people we invited didn’t show up. I looked around, feeling a little disappointed and finally turned to my mother and asked, “Where are Danny, Kirk, and Joe?”
Without hesitation, she gave me that signature raised eyebrow and said, “Only concern yourself with those at the party.”
And then for emphasis, “Don’t worry about those not at the party.” That was it. She didn’t explain it. She didn’t overanalyze it. She simply reminded me of a truth that I have carried with me ever since:
Focus on the ones who show up. In life, in leadership, and even in faith, it is easy to get caught up wondering why some people don’t come along for the ride. But my mother? She knew better! She understood that your energy should go toward the people who are present, engaged and willing to walk the journey with you. And as it turns out, Jesus taught the same thing. The Biblical Connection: “If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you.” Luke 10:6.
When Jesus sent out his disciples, He told them to focus on the ones who received them – not to was time trying to convince those who weren’t interested. That is exactly what my mother was saying that night. She didn’t want me worrying about who wasn’t there – she wanted me celebrating the ones who were. If you think about it, that’s a good coaching lesson, a leadership lesson, and a life lesson all in one.
Lesson 2: Toughness is a Requirement, Not an Option
My mother was never one to make life easy just for the sake of it.
One afternoon after a long session of shooting baskets in the driveway, I walked inside the house, probably feeling a little too comfortable, when she started shouting orders:
“Shut the door, wash your hands, start the wash, clean up, and study.”
I decided to test my luck and sarcastically asked: “You’re tough on me. What would you have done if you had a daughter?”
She paused, raised an eyebrow, and delivered a Hall of Fame response:
“I don’t have to worry about that now, do I?” God gave me boys, and my job is to raise you and your brother to be tough enough to run a business, be a husband, and raise a family, and none of those are possible if you can’t handle being pushed.” There was no arguing with that! She was right. Life isn’t about getting breaks – it’s about being prepared when things get tough, because they will!
When you’re down with 30 seconds left, needing a stop and a three to stay alive, you can’t just wish things were easier – you’ve got to be tougher. That’s exactly what great mothers do!
Lesson 3: Make the Right Play in the Moment
One Sunday in west Texas, my mother was doing what most mothers of that era did – cooking Sunday lunch.
Like any good west Texas meal, something was fried. As we were leaving church, she ran into the pastor and casually mentioned, “Hey, I’ve got fried chicken today, come on by for lunch.” The pastor, being polite, responded, “We may just do that, but I need to talk to Jackie first. If you see us, you see us.”
Mother took that as a no and went about her day.
We hurried home, changed out of our Sunday best, turned on the Cowboys game, and probably started a heated game of bumper pool. Meanwhile, my mother stayed in her Sunday dress and went straight to the kitchen. All was well – until the doorbell rang. It was the pastor’s entire family. With a loud twangy voice, my mother shouted, “Oh my, it’s the pastor’s family!” Then she turned and yelled at my brother and I, “You boys get in the kitchen RIGHT NOW.” Now, you have to understand something…in her mind, this was no different than coaching a basketball team. “Down 5 with 30 seconds, needing a stop and a three to stay alive.” She had seconds to adjust, and she called the perfect play. She bent down and whispered the game plan. “The pastor showed up and brought everyone. You boys don’t eat ANY chicken. Fill up on potatoes, bread and green beans. If you do, you get pie! “
And just like that, we had our strategy. We sat at the table, Dad said the blessing, and we stuck to the plan…NO CHICKEN!
As lunch wrapped up, my mother looked confident that she had pulled it off. Then, in her usual style, she delivered the final dagger. She picked up everyone’s plates, walked to the oven, grabbed two beautiful buttermilk pies and announced: “Only boys who ate chicken get pie.” She had outcoached us. She tricked us out of chicken AND out of pie all in one move. And you know what? She did what she had to do to make the meal a success.
Final Thoughts: The Legacy of Scottie Leech
My mother’s lessons were simple, sharp and effective. She didn’t spend time worrying about the players who weren’t in the game. She focused on the ones who were. She didn’t raise us soft. She made sure we were ready for the challenges ahead. When things didn’t go as planned, she called the right play and made the best of the moment, even if it meant sacrificing chicken and pie.
That’s why we called these the Gospel According to Scottie. And maybe that’s the greatest Mother’s Day message of all. At the end of the day, a great mother isn’t here to tell you what you want to hear. She is here to tell you what you need to hear, and we are all better because of it!
What lesson from your mom has stuck with you the most? Share it with us or pass this story along to someone who needs a little Scottie-style encouragement today.